Nightmares of a White Christmas

I keep looking out the window behind me as I pass time on my laptop. There is one icicle that I would like to believe holds the key. And it is melting and dripping, and I am giddy with delight. Thaw, baby, thaw. For the love of little baby Jesus lying in a tiny manger with all that poky straw, come on snow, give up and thaw out.

I am not sure why I choose the most unpredictable things on which to stake my hopes for happiness. I especially hate the fact that I choose my successes and achievements as ways of defining or at least ways of being at peace with myself. As if getting a degree would somehow justify my existence in the grand scheme of things.

So then I have decided that in spite of all the ice and wet pant legs these last few days have been a complete blessing. I have had a wonderful reason to sit back, read, write, and meditate. And I have come to believe I need more time like this in the future. I am going to stop trying to accomplish so much in so little time, and instead try to do what I can in each moment to stay healthy and sane.